The wreckage shines so brilliantly, captivating those who are easily diverted by even a small flicker. It will engulf the whole of you leaving you with only a slight chance to continue existing at all. Knowing this, you are still compelled to waste your sights along with your hindsight just to get a closer look. After the pure view has traveled from your eyes to your mind and then scratched its way into your soul, your scars turn to fresh wounds and then your confidence to uncertainty. This illusion catches you off guard every time though you know it is there lurking in the shadows of your past.
I may as well have been drowning as a child because when that full force wave of life came in and took my little body, its cruel and unforgiving undertow rushed over me pounding every inch of life out of my lungs and heart as it continued to callously thrash against my soul, throwing me from one hardship to the next without so much as a breath to be taken or a helping hand to grip. Quickly did I learn to swim, yet I am still learning to fly.
Sometimes I feel wedged in the past. Like no matter how madly I run around banging my angry fists on every surface and wall that comes about, I cannot escape it. It jerks me in and engulfs my mind with every thought grasping onto me more firmly then the last until it has fully overcome the version of myself in which I have come to be. My past exposes a vulnerability that can drop me to my knees in an instant, knowing where I have come from and still fighting to prevail over these lurking memories has been the endeavor of my lifetime. It is not often I feel at ease, I lie in wait for the damage that has been done to truly set in and I mustn’t let these horrid events be set free for then I would no longer be bound to the tragedies that fashioned my current being.