Well let’s face it,
I am unwell
But I am well acquainted with this notion
Which you can easily tell
So Fear not for me
Please do not dwell
Rock bottom is my very own personal hell.
Madness is a monster
And my mind just needs some time
While I strip myself,
Myself of all my selfish grime
And the battle is what I live for
So I wont lose my life,
But who’s to say when one will,
Or will not die.
The sky lingers grey
As the evergreens sway
And the wind sweeps on thru
With all my pictures of you
Now I’ve got nothing,
And nothing to lose.
So I stand with my feet at the edge
My toes hang over, I live on this ledge
As dark falls around I stand so still
Spreading my arms and fighting my will.
I gently close my eyes and pray
As the soothing breeze cools my face
My cheeks still red with contempt and desire
My souls a wreck and my hearts on fire.
The depth of the storm is creeping in
As the icy rain caresses my skin
I see the rivers rush from the mountaintop
And now my choices can’t be stopped
The sun bares the weight of my life begun
As I breathe it in, snow falls on my tongue
Yes I have seen this view before
There is only one last step to God’s front door.
Strike a match on the box and watch it burn
A small flame like ours just fighting to be heard
We turned our love into a wildfire
We saw it flourish and never thought it would tire
Felt it burn this city down
But as the rain came fallin’ we watched it burn out.
Your confidence is complicating
You walk in here with your eyes portraying
The man you like to think you are
With your fancy clothes and fancy car
You flash your smile all about
To intimidate the ones with doubt
And I too was scared at first
Until I heard you use your words.
I wish my hands were those of a piano player, as my fingertips would brush your keys you would hear the melody of me. I wish my tears would dance like the rain, and as I wept you would stroll calmly thru. I wish my eyes would shine like a lightning strike so when I glanced at you, you would know the depth of my truths. I wish my voice was a thunderstorm and when I spoke it crackled through you…
Your gaze stops me in my tracks
That simple smile, that fierce laugh
Are the undertow of what I don’t have.
I ache though all my lanky limbs
Because when your fingers graze
Across my rough skin
It’s all I can do, to not sink within
I close my eyes, but don’t have much to share
As I imagine your perfectly windswept hair
But even when you are not, I feel you there.
Somehow, someway some wires must have crossed
Because my soul lacks of feeling and I keep getting lost
There is a great distance from my heart to my mind
Now graciously pumping emotions through my blood line.
Alienated, lost and nervous
Thinking this world is no more
And no more is a circus
Found on the floor
Just bent and distorted
The girl in a box
She’s crying and hurtin’
Her heart is so heavy
She’s trying, she learnin’